Checking in’ is a simple mindfulness practice that can help us start to cultivate a kind and loving relationship with ourselves.

  1.  Try setting a lovely chime on your phone for every hour during the day as a reminder to check in with yourself. Choose a sound that you enjoy and that you know isn’t a phone call or text requiring your attention.  Each time you hear the chime during the day, take a brief moment to stop and check in with yourself.
  2. Ask yourself ‘How am I feeling in this moment?‘  There is no right or wrong answer here.  The magic of this process is in asking yourself the question – as if you mattered.  The way you would check in with a dear friend or loved one.
  3. Ask yourself “What do I need, in this moment?’  It could be a tea, a pee, a hug, a breath, a rest, a smile. Or you may not know. That’s okay too.

This simple but powerful practice calms the nervous system and gives body, mind and spirit the message that someone is home and caring.  It is a way of staying connected and nurturing ourselves.

‘How are you doing’ and ‘what do you need’ are words we often say to someone we care about.  Imagine if that person was you.  Imagine caring for yourself with the same care and kindness you offer to others.

Mindful Self-Compassion training programs teach many micro-skills for cultivating more kindness and care for ourselves. Check out our upcoming workshops.


Victoria Pawlowski, M.Ed., R.C.C., is a Compassion focused psychotherapist and Trained Teacher of Mindful Self-Compassion.