Ideally, every child needs to hear these messages in order to grow up with confidence, self worth and an ability to form healthy intimate relationships. No one receives all of these messages perfectly. Its just part of our humanity. Our healing task is to identify which messages which did not get and start to give them to ourselves.
The first ten messages are more ‘yin’ or mother messages:
I love you
I want you
You are special to me
I see you and I hear you
I love you for who you are, not what you do
I love you and I give you permission to be different from me
I’ll take care of you
I’ll be there for you; I will be there even when you die
You can trust me
You can trust your inner voice
Sometimes I will tell you ‘no’ and that’s because I love you
You don’t have to be afraid anymore
My love will make you well
I welcome and cherish your love
These following ‘out in the world’ messages, are considered ‘yang’ or father messages…
I can set limits and I am willing to enforce them
If you fall down I will pick you up
I am proud of you
I have confidence in you. I am sure you will succeed.
I give you permission to be the same as I, to be more or less
You are beautiful/handsome
I give you permission to love and enjoy your erotic sexuality
with a partner of your choice and not lose me
Write each of these messages in your journal every day. After you write down each one, stop and take a breath. Try to identify where you feel the message in your body. Just feel and breathe and notice. Some messages will speak louder to you. Journal about them. You can find your own way to give yourself these messages. You can sing, paint, doodle, draw or meditate them.
